Ted Rall for May 15, 2008
Will Aliens choose the next president of the united states? Yes - unless we pass the voter DNA act. Is there evidence that aliens are voting illegally? Of course not. They're sneaky! You need photo ID and knowledge of major spectator sports in order to vote. But some states still issue driver's licenses to non-terrans. A utility bill isn't good enough. Only DNA tests can prove you're what you say you are. Critics say genetic verification laws would make it harder for the poor, disabled, elderly and minorities to participate in the political process. Go back to Klendathu, election fraudster! Help! I need $300 to vote. Earth first! But... the "disadvantaged" are the group most likely to come from off-world! Attention bums and welfare moms: remember your loyalties! Vote against earthling interests! Bureaucracy: our first line of defense!