Ted Rall for July 24, 2006
Emergency meeting of top democratic party strategists (Man: The numbers are clear: we're headed toward a catastrphic victory in this fall's elections. Our usual strategies-lame candidates, wishy-washyness wussosity-aren't going to save us. If we're to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, we need new tactics! Woman: Fiendishly clever! The republicans are handing us control of congress so that, in 2008, we'll share the blame for the deficit, gas prices and two lost wars! Man: So what are we gonna do about it?! Eventually Man: Democratic "triangulation" out-republicaning the republicans- didn't work. Why? Woman: Voters said they prefered to vote against a genuinely vile republican... over a slightly gross democrat! Next: McCain!