Ted Rall for May 21, 2005
Transcript:
No one's enlisting. No one's re-enlisting. We're short of cannon fodder but here's where we'll get more troops. Replace Iraq occupation forces with crash test dummies. (Man 1: Something's up. The new torturers are much smarter.) Deploy remote-controlled microchip-implanted pets adopted from Animal shelters. (Man 2: I salute all of you magnificent bastards: The dogs sniffing out the Taliban, the cats in the Korean DMZ... even the gerbils invading Iran!) Reanimate dead soldiers. (Man 3: And duck the friendly fire this time, soldier zombie!) Relocate future wars to the location of current wars. (Man 4: First we "retreat." the north Koreans chase us west to Iraq. Then we counterattack.) (Man 5: Multi-tasking! Like in business school!)