Ted Rall for June 19, 2003
Wars if the future will follow a policy of retroactive pre-emption: The excuse for war will be determined as result of fighting it. (Television: Operation Lisbon irradiation will either liberate the Portugal from using weapon of mass destruction or whatever.) (Man: That covers it.) Since almost every country is guilty of something, virtually any invasion can be justified after the fact. (Man 2: Can you believe it? Cops in this town ticketed cars seconds after the meter expired!) Even in the case of wars again nations that turn out to have been innocent, the post facto doctrine still applies. (Man 2: here lies Bernard Le Febre, the deposed president assassinated by a U.S. bomb. As it turns out, he was a selfless, hardworking democrat- but for how long? We had to kill him before he turned bad!) Best of all, aggressors can prevent getting attacked themselves by applying the corollary of anticipatory pacificm.) Best of all, aggressors can prevent getting attacked temselves by applying the corollary of anticipatory pacifism. (George Bush: Each war we start eliminates another victim- and brings us that much closer to becoming peaceful and non-aggressive!