Ted Rall for February 25, 2002
The experiment is over, the results are mixed. The ethical ramifications? That's for God to decide. Cloning of a President. The first cloned embryos failed to develop despite being implanted in Republican women. (Man: Sorry, Poppy-we'll need more D.N.A.) Finally, a live genetic and political duplicate, NO. 43, was produced and raised to maturity. (Behold: Number 43 is every bit as perfect as version number 41!) (Woman: Subliterate, probably retarded. It's bad. Surprisingly, the pup was hardly identical. It's empty eyes and inferior intelligence. (You think someone peed in the dish? It's an old skull and bones prank.) (Woman: Anything's possible. Still-) At first, scientists were understandably disappointed. What went wrong? It took a while to analyze the process but the answer was simple: (George Bush: My nose is dripping, Dad. Dad?) (George Bush Sr.: Don't worry, son. Just bomb Saddam.) The copy was inferior because the original was inferior.