Ted Rall for February 09, 2002
President-in-exile Al Gore. If not now, why not? This time: re-election! The months of painful plotting have come to an end. It's president Gore's first public appearance since the 2000 coup! It's time. Imbecile! Emerging briefly from his bunker at Columbia's journalism school is a big risk, but his country is at war. They need him! Agggg! Avert your eyes from the sun, sir! He only has a few minutes to make his case. For too many long months our nation has been led by an idiotic buffoon. Now that we're at war, we need a well-read wonk in the white house! Conference on Areane Ephemera. I've read Ahmed Rashid. I've memorized the names of every provincial governor of Pakistan. Where others see "evil axes", I see the nuances of geopolitical stratega! Four more years! Four more years! The road to re-election begins auspiciously, but the resistance still faces challenges. Sure, Bush is a moron. But he's more entertaining than Gore. Imbecile! Next: long march.