Ted Rall for January 19, 2002
America lashes out: who's next? Target: Iran. Reasoning: We're still annoyed about the hostages. Same name as Iraq, almost. They have oil? Why didn't you say so?! Action taken: sanction/bomb. Target: Costa Rica. Reasoning: No terrorist camps - let's keep it that way. Conveniently located. Element of surprise. But we're your ally! Tell it to Satan, Osama! Action take: assassinations. Target: Maldives. Reasoning: No reason why not. Muslim, like Muslim terrorists. Action taken: can't find. Target: Florida. Reasoning: Source of anthrax attacks, possibly. We're still sore that they stole Elián away. Place escaped Taliban POWs would swim to if/when they leave Guantanamo. Messed up the election too! Action taken: Where should America strike next? Write: W. 1600 Penn. Ave. D.C.