Ted Rall for October 18, 2001
September 11, 2001The 20th hijacker gets a call from terror cell leader mohammed atta. (Voice: Ahmed! Great news! We have four planes! Where are you?) (Man: Um, dude... I kinda overslept) (Voice: Ahmed, you lazy cur- you were supposed to hit the white house! You've let us all down- you're nothing more than a jihad slacker.) (Man: Sorry, man. See, I was out all night drinking at this lap-dancing joint- you know, just trying to fit in-) (Voice: Idiot!) (Man: The early martyr gets the black-eyed virgins! In just a few minutes, I'll be cold-chilling with Allah. Where will you be? Well, if I really kick butt, I could go hijack a bus or truck or something. It's certainly possible. Maybe tomorrow.) (Voice: Sometimes I doubt that you'll never become a real terrorist.