Ted Rall for September 20, 1999
Transcript:
In a world where everything original has been done before, here's the last leftover shticks. Everyone knows the guy who squints his eyes and talks like Christian Slater- but you could be the first guy to dress like Bill Gates while talking like Al Gore! (Man: I. Am. Dave.) (Woman: Yes. I will have unprotected sex with you.) Lots of historians know the civil war inside out. Why not become this leading expert on the vice presidency of Nelson Rockefeller? (Woman 2: And of course, there was that hooker thing.) (Man 2: Please talk about the hooker thing.) Both morality and amorality are old hat. But nobody does random morality... pourquoi pas? (Woman 3: I'm going to leave my husband, give all my money to charity, beat my children and donate bone marrow to that little girl in the tabloids.) Don't just be some guy who stands around- be some guy who fishes at the corner! (Woman 4: There's that sewage fisherman again- he creeps me out.) (Woman 1: I'd have unprotected sex with him!) Sorry; that's about it.