Ted Rall for September 04, 1999
Transcript:
In the past, consumption used up a few weekday hours and all day Saturday and Lincoln's birthday and the day after Christmas. (Woman: Oh joy! A box of cheap, hideous holiday cards- and we only lost 5 hours of our lives!) (Man: What's the gift of life compared to a $3.48 savings?) As technology improved and prices fell, however, pepple who failed to invest more and more of their time making choices between various products lost out. (Woman: 6 1/2 cents a minute?! May your gonads fry in hell! German telecorp offers 5.2 cents plus an ison line!) Since hourly wages had been frozen for decades, there developed two classes of citizens of archaic, predatory pricing plans. (Man: At least I still have friends and/or family!) Eventually, the inevitable happened: The conomy became pegged to consumer efficiency. (Television: More good news! The gross domestic consumer savings index is up- 4%!) (Woman: Don't give me that crap- or I'll get my surgery online!)