Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for November 29, 2015
Breezy: Ok, we're ready to fly to the castle and save your friend. Rip Haywire: Thanks, Breezy! I couldn't save her if it weren't for you and your chopper. Breezy: I have to deliver a case of plum brandy to the castle, anyway. You can sneak in once I land. And don't touch the Brandy! The fumes would kill a friend, right? Rip Haywire: Who lives in this castle. Breezy? Breezy: An outlaw by the name of Tahiti Jones- Rip Haywire: Tahiti Jones? No kidding! I tangled with him when I was just starting out. I gave him a scar across his veadiest eye! I wonder if he remembers? Voice: Master, the pirate queen is yours! Why haven't you begun wooing her with all your might? Tahiti Jones: It's this scar! No patch in the world can make up for its hideousness! If I weren't for that Rip Haywire, I'd have 30 wives now, like my brother! And Mom would have left the bigger castle to me! Man: Yes, master, we're all tired of your brother's obnoxious Christmas letters. Master! The chopper is here with your Brandy! And hopefully the latest issue of better homes and gardens!