Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for September 13, 2015
Voice: Thanks for the lift, cyclops! I'm meeting a guide here, so you can vamoose. Voice 2: I'll stick around 'til he shows up. Cobra Carson: You're about as tall as my ex-he-he's dead. Rip Haywire: Remind me to never be your ex. Cobra Carson: You even have his sense of humor- Rip Haywire: Pope down there's something over in the rocks. Cobra Carson: And his big mouth-yipe! What happened? Rip Haywire: It's either the hunger games or we're in deep guano. Cobra Carson: My guide's been turned into shish kebab! Now I'll never find that pirate treasure! Well, he knew what he was getting into when he decided to be a pirate treasure guide. I'm sure he had insurance. We better get back to the boat, Cobra. Cobra Carson: Not so fast! We need to search the body for a map! Or at least some gum! My mouth tastes all jungle-rot-y. Rip Haywire: Aw man, that was my good shoulder! Cobra Carson: Well, I guess I could use the certs you have in the boat, begrudgingly! Rip Haywire: We're under attack! We've got to get out of here! Cobra Carson: Take off that hat! Maybe it angered the villagers!