Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for August 30, 2015
Cobra Carson: All right, let's find my pirate treasure. The map says to follow the North Star until morning. Rip Haywire: Arr! I knew I shoulda brought that night sky app! Cobra Carson: It's the big Blinky one, idiot. Rip Haywire: Star-gazing with one eye ain't the easiest ya know! Cobra Carson: Good night. I'm going below deck-this doesn't happen without cat naps. Rip Haywire: What's this, your huge noggin? I hope it fits down the stairwell! Any sharks take a nibble out of you yet, TNT? TNT: No, but aquaman says "hey" So Cobra really doesn't know it's you piloting this ship, Rip? Rip Haywire: Have you heard my pirate accent? I'm better than Daniel Day-Lewis! TNT: Ok, just remember that we're here to stop her. She tried to feed us to tigers, remember! Rip Haywire: That? It was her first day on the job-everybody makes mistakes. TNT: She sure sleeps good for somebody who mistakenly killed the love of her life. Rip Haywire: Probably still in shock! Voice: Thanks for the lift, cyclops! I'm meeting a guide here, so you can vamoose. Voice 2: I'll stick around 'til he shows up.