Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for August 24, 2015
Rip Haywire: To victory! Wait, what? This isn't the battle for freedom over the zombie slaves of mystery island! It's a soft bed... TNT: You got nailed with a giant rock at the beginning of the fight and were out cold for the whole thing, Ripster...I was embarassed for you. Rip Haywire: Groan... TNT: We freed the hypnotized townsfolk, all is well. Rip Haywire: Who cares about them... I missed a fight! TNT: Hey, at least your knuckles don't smell like pirate! You know how hard that is to get off!