Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for August 22, 2015
Hawaiian: If the pirates down there truly have captured my family, tall man, I will help you in your quest to beat them into a mealy pulp! From now on I will be known as the Hawaiian who avenges injustice! Rip Haywire: Catchy. Man: Hey, we didn't sign up for no avengin'! We're simple hench-goons! We quit! Man 2: Yeah! I remember there being a strict 'no avengin' clause in our contracts, pal!