Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for May 23, 2013
Master: Good evening, miss pirate queen. Cobra: It's "your highness," to strangers. Master: Of course. My name is Tahiti Jones. People call me "master." Cobra: I'll call you TJ, if you give me a bit of what you've been drinking. So, what happened to the man I was with? Master: Man? My goons said nothing of a man! Goon: He beat us silly, but we showed him! He's a piranha happy meal now!! Cobra: His name is Rip Haywire! Master: Haywire?! He's the villain who gave me this scar! Goon: He did you a favor! Scars lend character! I read it in better homes and gardens!