Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for March 23, 2012
Poi: Be reasonable, Haywire! Let me go and I will split my Polynesian pirate queen empire with you! Rip: I'm a one-woman ma, and if she's dead - I'll never love another - But more importantly, I'd never love a scoundrel like you! It's in the Haywire genes. Poi: Gawd! Now I want him more than ever! Crystal: You never read the copy of "he's just not that into you" that I gave you for Christmas, did you?