Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for April 21, 2009
Narrator: Cobra falls into the clutches of ferocious fiends. Guard: Talk! Where's Haywire's extraction point? Cobra Carson: N-not water-boarding! Guard: We have newsworthy ways of making you talk. Cobra Carson: Bring on the H2O! Guard: Better! A DVD film festival... of every Matthew McConaughey movie ever made.