Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for July 18, 2013
summer weeding guide boorish ivy - if ignored will quickly grow into the shape of unwanted lawn objects (flamingo, chevy up on blocks, any large abandoned appliance). especially unnerving for those under autocratic neighborhood associations. dandelion 1: tie his shoelaces together! dandelion 2: pure evil! dandelion.org - densely intertwined root system creates a sentient hive-mind prone to acts of petty maliciousness. sphincterwort - (methanium) an en-tirely unnecessary evolutionary devel-opment. too nasty to even draw. touchyweed - oversensitive to the needs of rootbound americans. runs screaming the aclu when pulled up. farmer: owch rakeseed - step on it and the stalk flies up and hits you in the face! nature at its most playful!