Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for March 25, 2013
spring planting guide to unpleasant blooms flower: hey! where's that water? you just going to stand there? c'mon c'mon! is there someone else i could talk to? impatience - an extremely irritating bloom. put it in a pot & throw it away. stalking petunia - persistently annoying. may require a restraining order. "tank-killer" tea rose - hybrid developed by u.s. army for use in desert storm. mr. green things necrotizing fuchsia - not recommended for yards with pets or small children. dog: arh! arh! arh! oop: down! scrofulous terrier plant - sheds all year, smells bad & will try to scratch itself.