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Not necessarily. Husband has a lot of things that he would done differently – most related to his parents – he realized later in life that many problems were caused by parents and how they thought.
He has said many times that if he knew back then what he knew now, he would have listened to me a lot more often – including not to have a big wedding – just get married and have a lunch with immediate family. His mom and my mom wanted the wedding and they would get upset when I would not agree with them on things – and they did not get along either.
We did not live together (traveled together though, with made up friends traveling with us – we were young). We did know each other a year before we started dating, dated for 4 years, engaged for 2 years, even so, at our wedding friends were betting how many days how long our marriage would last – married going on 41 years in a couple of week. All together that is 48 years together.
On paper we should not have lasted to a second date. Different religions, different ethnic backgrounds, he comes from a traditional minded family – I come from a girls can do anything family, my family gave us a weekly allowance to learnt to manage money – his family just gave him money to buy things when they thought it was okay for him to have them. And yet, the biggest difference of all – his family had bar of hand soap in the kitchen to wash their hands – my family just used the dish soap (settled by putting a bar of soap in the kitchen of course).
Almost all of our friends from back then who married are still with their original spouse (one is widowed, one married a loon some years later and they divorced, and some never married). Same with our sisters.
My husband was director of a mental health center for children. It was a day program for the children (meaning they lived at home) and was also their school program – if they could not deal with this program they would be put into a residential program. Many of the children were violent.
Depending on the exact program they were running in a particular year they could have children as young as 2.5 years old. Children tended to be violent if they were in the program or the district would have saved money and kept them in school in the district. Children attended through high school graduation or if they did not graduate, to age 21. Of course many children did not continue straight through in the program to the finish – children would come in and leave depending on their school district (each community here has it own school district) or their parents (many were foster children also and state might pull them from the program) or moving.
In his earl years there when he was he was a counselor one of the kids he was counselor to, came in drunk. They had a quiet conversation about it and the kid was to be taken home – at the last minute the kid turned around and cold cocked my husband in the face – husband ended up at the doctor.
Of all the kids he worked with as counselor and as director, there are maybe 3 or 4 successes – one of them he actually gave our home number – when the boy graduated from college we were the ones who went as his parents – his parents could not bothered to do so. He still calls husband every now some 30 or so years later to talk to him.
Also always had fun at work – whether supermarket cashier, jewelry salesperson in a local family owned household items department store or working as an accountant – for my original boss, my dad or myself, heck even the one day I worked for my bosses’ partner was not bad – it was just that he was an idiot, but he was not with me.
Never scares me.
No – husband buys them and needs much help from me these years to put together as he gets ill if he bends over.
Delivery – always a problem or five.
Ikea has delivery and a company (I think task rabbit) who can assemble it for you.
Instructions are usually good – all in photos so doesn’t matter what language ones speaks – and most of the time is not even needed.
We are still using the stuff we bought for the apartment, later house – from 40 to 30 years ago – why get rid of what one likes?