Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 13, 2016
Pig: Excuse me, Mr. Phone company guy... you left this phone book on my porch, but no one uses them anymore. Delivery Man: Not true. Pig: What do you mean? Delivery Man: If the cops need to beat someone they're interrogating, they use a phone book because it doesn't leave marks, so if you ever become a cop, that thing could be pretty helpful. Pig: It's nice to see the phone company adapting.