Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 04, 2016
Goat: Look at that bird sitting on the automatic sprinkler. Pig: Yeah. That's Benny the flightless robin. Goat: Why's he just sitting there? Pig: He's hoping that one day the sprinkler will turn on and pop him up into the air, giving him the illusion of flight. Bird: That, and it's cheaper than a bidet. Goat: That's both sad and revolting. Bird: A little privacy, please.