Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 14, 2016
Guy 1: Hello senator, here's million dollars for your super pac. I'd like you to kill a banking bill that's hurting my business. Guy 2: Whoa, whoa, you've stated a quid pro quo. And that makes this illegal. Guy 1: A quid pro what? Guy 2: A quid pro quo. An explicit exchange of money for a favor. And that is illegal, immoral, and repulsive. Guy 1: So now what? Guy 2: So go back out. Then come back in. And this time just say you'd like to donate a million dollars to my super pac. Guy 1: Hello, I'd like to donate a million dollars to your Super Pac. Guy 2: Well, thank you, sir. How is business? Guy 1: Not good. There's a banking bill I don't like. Guy 2: I don't like that bill either. I think I'll kill it. Guy 1: And what was that? Guy 2: Legal! Goat: I think our system needs fixing. Rat: How much more fixed can it get? Pig: Yay! The system is fixed! The system is fixed!