Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 21, 2016
Goat: What are you doing, Pig? Pig: Throwing away our watermelons. They weigh too much. Goat: I've concluded that the reason I weigh so much is that I eat food that weighs a lot. So from now on. I'm only gonna eat food that is light. Chips, donuts, and cotton candy. Pig: I'll be rail thin in no time.