Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 21, 2014
Bombast Cable (BC): Bombast cable, can I help you? Rat: I'd like to cancel cable. BC: And why is that? Rat: Because I don't want it anymore. BC: Let's talk about that. Rat: But I just want to cancel. BC: Are you unsatisfied? Rat: Yes, cancel me. BC: Why are you unsatisfied? Rat: Because. Now cancel me. BC: Maybe I can help. Rat: You can help by canceling me. BC: But you didn't say why. Rat: I don't have to. Now cancel. BC: But I want to see if I can fix your problem. Rat: You're my problem. Now cancel me. BC: Lemme see what I can do. Rat: You can cancel cancel cancel cancel cancel. BC: I see. And why is that? Rat: Because if you don't, there is a trained ninja assassin just outside your cubicle who doesn't have a lot of respect for your customer retention program. Rat: Cable's canceled.