Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 18, 2013
Man: Your food, sir. Pig: Eeesh. What is that? Man: Fish. It's what you ordered. Pig: But why does it look like that? Man: Because it's a fish. Would you like it to look like a cow? Pig: No. But I want it to look like something that wasn't alive. Man: Sir, we're a three-star michelin-rated restaurant. That's how fish is served. Pig: No, no, please...just make it look like food. Good old magical food that comes from nowhere and magically appears on my plate. Man: Alright, alright. Close your eyes and gimme a second. Pig: Thanks. Man: Whhhhhhhy yooooooou kiiiiiilll meeeeeee? Whhhy yooou- Pig: AHHHHHHHHH. Man: That probably wasn't consistent with michelin food-handling standards. Rat: Gimme that. I want to chase him home.