Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 28, 2012
Rat: Good evening, my fellow citizens...if you could, please shut your pieholes. Goat: What now? Rat: Unsatisfied with the current slate of nominees, I, Rat, am declaring my candidacy for President of the United States. Goat: You? What's your big issue? Rat: Building a thousand-foot-tall wall along the border to keep out all these illegal immigrants. Goat: You're gonna build a thousand-foot-tall wall all the way from California to Texas to keep our Mexicans? Rat: No. From Washington to Maine to keep out Canadians. Goat: Suddenly, my voter apathy is growing. Rat: Hey! We don't need any more Justin Biebers sneaking across the border! Pig: He's from Canada? I knew I loved the Canadianese for a reason.