Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 22, 2012
"Danny Donkey went to the park. A woman approached him. Help save our train, sir. It's for the children. Danny Donkey looked up and saw a miniature steam train in disrepair. 'I will save your train,' said Danny Donkey. 'And give it a new and shiny track.' So Danny Donkey spent all his money and fixed the train. And on the day of the re-opening, everyone cheered the shiny new train. And watched as it departed the new station and rolled down its shiny new track. Which now led out of the park. And straight to the liquor store. Yay." Rat: "'I have built the world's most convenient beer run.' shouted Danny." Goat: THIS is your commemoration of neighborhood improvement day? Pig: No child shall ever be thirsty again!!