Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 15, 2012
"Danny Donkey hated people. It's true. So Danny Donkey bought a treehouse at the top of a very tall tree. 'You should invite the entire neighbordhood to a housewarming party,' said Dany's perky real estate agent. 'Then you'll have good relationships with all your neighbors.' So Danny Donkey invited all his neighbors to a housewarming party. Which went well until he ran out of champagne. You ran out of champagne, dude. Yeah, you call this a party? So Danny excused himself to buy more champagne. More bubbly on the way. And chopped down the tree. Ahhh. No. Scream. Timb-e-e-e-e-r. 'Now I have good relationships with all my neighbors,' exclaimed Danny Donkey. Rat: 'So remember, kids, it's not good fences that make good neighbors. It's deceased neighbors that make good neighbors.' Goat: I give up. Pig: Are all these people with x's for eyes just napping?