Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 27, 2008
Pig: Hey there, Mr. Crumb. How goes it? Mr. Crumb: Not good, Pig. I'm tired of the humdrum of living on the streets. I just sit in silence and eat fruit I find outside the market. Pig: Well, what do you want to do? Mr. Crumb: I don't know. It's a real conundrum. I used to be doing something with my life...like, I played guitar and percussion in a band...maybe I should return to it. Pig: Why don't you? Mr. Crumb: Because then I tell myself it's a dumb idea. I'm just as happy to sit in some rundown area and drink a little rum and hum myself a tune. Pig: Oh, Mr. Crumb...don't get down like that. Mr. Crumb: I tell you, I'm numb to it all, Pig...and I don't have any answers. Rat: Answers to what? Pig: Mr. Crumb's conundrum of the humdrum of being mum and eating plums like a numb bum from some slum or drum and strum or hum with rum if dum. Rat: You're a nausea-inducing embarrassment. Stephen Pastis: Sick tum? Come. Have some gum.