Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 14, 2008
"Hey, concierge... here's a buck... tell me how to get downtown." "Yeah, just fly your helicopter two miles west." "Helicopter? I don't own a helicopter." "Oh. I figured that with the amount of money you save by tipping @#*@, you might have bought a helicopter." "You sure didn't spend it on that tie."