Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 08, 2006
Danny Donkey hated his neighbors. "I hate you." He hated his doctor, his lawyer and his accountant. "I hate you all." "He hated leaders, followers and florists. "Why me, Danny Donkey?" He hated relatives, real estate agents, and relatives who were real estate agents. "Buy a house, nephew Danny." FOR SALE "I must turn my hatred into something constructive," thought Danny Donkey. So Danny made a sign. BAN PEOPLE But no one listened. So Danny hit them with his sign. BONK Suddenly realizing that the value of his sign was not in the message, but in the stick to which it was affixed, Danny spent the rest of his life hitting people with sticks. BONK! "Please stop writing children's books." "Fool! I am a master of the genre." "Whoa...Chapter two...'Danny finds more uses for sticks.'"