Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 17, 2003
"Dear President Bush, There are 192 countries. So far, you've only bombed two." "TYPE TYPE TYPE." "Even if you win re-election, you only have 65 months left in office." "TYPE TYPE TYPE." "If we are to get them all, you will need to bomb three per month from here on out." "TYPE TYPE TYPE." "For us to sustain that kind of pace, you will need to stop wasting time asking the U.N. and Congress for approval. They are silly girly-girls." "TYPE TYPE TYPE." "P.S. If we have extra time. I suggest hitting France more than once." "TYPE TYPE TYPE." "Don't tell me you're gonna send a letter like that to the President of the United States...They're going to investigate you for being such a whacko." "Okay...October is Mexico, Canada, and Hawaii." "No, no, Sir, Hawaii's ours."