Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 31, 2002
"Now that I've been caught faking my own death, I will have to change the focus of my city council campaign." "To what?" "Issues, my fat friend, issues. I will pick one issue and run on that...I'll keep it real simple because people are stupid." "What'll be you issue?" "...And if elected, I will invade Mexico."