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Matt Bors for March 18, 2015
TRUE THING: McDonald's workers are being given mustard and mayo to treat grease burns. Employee Man #1: Uh, this is...? Ronald McDonald: MEDICINE Just one of the cure-alls you'll find at RONALD'S WORKER APOTHECARY. Sludge of coffee Sesame seed scrapings Whatever is in the McNuggets Ronald McDonald: Now, back to work! Run-down from no breaks? Try a rejuvenating Shamrock Shake bath. Employee Man #2: I'm...not lovin' it. Need a sick day? No, you need a special sauce IV. Employee Woman: I need...a raise. Ronald McDonald: Oh dear - she's hallucinating!
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