Matt Bors for October 01, 2007
Burdened by discriminatory laws prohibiting them from factory work and betting on Wall Street, children must rely on their OWN ingenuity to finance their healthcare. Boy: It is with great pride that I announce LS-CHIP, the lemonade stand children's health insurance program. A safe alternative to socialism, LS-CHIP promises to offer full coverage, maybe, if it's a hot day. Girl: When life gives you lemons, make LEMONADE! Boy: And sell it at whatever price the market will bear. 75¢ Kids these days so much as SCRAPE A KNEE and they whine and wail for mommy government to swoop in with a slush fund. Boy: KISS MY BOO BOO! Well rehearsed shtick Healthcare isn't FREE because you're cute, young, and coughing blood. It's a prize for CHILD CHAMPS OF THE FREE MARKET. Girl: How'd we do? Boy: $8.50. That's a cab ride halfway to the emergency room!
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