Lalo Alcaraz for May 23, 2001
Official Mexican government Immigrant Survival Kit. These kits are being distributed to many U.S.-bound, undocumented immigrants for their own safety. Coin purse for holding a week's wages. Arsenic-free bottled water. Spanish-to-English-to-Bushonics dictionary. AOL disk (20 free hours special offer.) Geiger counter for monitoring safe nuclear plant emissions. Ear plugs to block out the drone of anti-immigrant whining. One gallon of gasoline (for bartering.) Emergency candle (in case of entering California.) Relaxed power plant emissions regulations gas mask. Anti-diarrheal medicine use in case of chalupa poisoning.