Dumbwich Castle by Lord Birthday for February 03, 2017
Transcript:
Thing you could do instead of figuring out your life 1. Balance grapes on your eyes and pretend the grapes are your eyes (they are not). 2. Enter a room and say "Room, I am in you." 3. Start a band. Write a song. Tra la la. Quit. 4. Smoosh a donut with a larger donut. Observe changes in the structure of each. 5. Build a treehouse. Live in it. Fall out of it. Burn it. 6. Read a book about Paraguay. Tell people you are learning a lot about Paraguay, like how to pronounce "Paraguay." 7. Call in to a radio morning show. Be a silly goose. Be witty. Confess to a murder you did not commit. 8. Open a dunk store. Sell dunks of various sizes. What is a dunk? It is a very powerful basketball move. 9. Become an actor. Get greasy and depressed. Throw a frisbee into the ocean. 10. Invent the "double-tip flame stick,", which already exists, and is called a candle. Hey greg, what are you plans for after college? Grapes on eyes
I have a funny feeling No. 7 would be rather unamusing to the police. That’s not to say it doesn’t sound like fun. I’d combine it with No. 6 and confess to committing a series of murders while on holiday in Paraguay.