Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for April 12, 2015
Zipper: What a score! Absolutely primo! Zonker: So, what is this? Zipper: A barrel of sweet crude! Picked it up for only $44! As an investment! When oil prices finally return to normal, I'm going to clean up! Zonker: But won't the oil degrade while you're waiting? From heat and oxidation and condensation? Zipper: Hmm... hadn't thought of that... Maybe I should refine it! Zonker: Refine it? Zipper: Or... hey! Press it into diamonds! Zonker: That's coal, not oil. Plus, you have to be Superman.