Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for June 17, 2007

Transcript:

B.D: Well, great - I'm scheduled for a relapse... Soldier: At least you're not scheduled for an ambush. B.D: Been there. Mike: Hi, folks! Time again for our Doonesbury planner. Featuring highlights from upcoming strips you WON'T want to miss! Plan your life around them today! Man: "For serving one million calories..." Mark: Finally! Shock cred! Rick: Hey... Jeff: I think I might be bi-sexual. Woman: Welcome to the simple life! Paris Hilton: Ew! Sid: Then try Latvia, dammit! Soldier: Only 217 dead this week! George W. Bush: "And my concern, David, is several." Mike: She stuffed her bed! Wow! I'm voting for (TBA) Zonker: Me too! B.D: Harris! Zonker: Maintain, cap'n! Bush: It was God's will! God: I don't think so. Lacey: Andy! Is that you? Slackmeyer: If only I'd spent less time with my family! Girl: Mommy, were you ever a femi-Nazi? Zeke: Here's to men! Celeste: Lose your wedding ring, sir? Man: Can he stay here for dinner? Zipper: Ha! Ha! Yuk! Yuk! Ha! Roland: For the White House, I'm Fox News! Donald Trump: It'll be huge! Beyond huge! Mike: Check local listings for times! You won't be sorry! 1. Zonker is McFriendly's employee-of-the-week. 2. After 25 years, Mark is fined by the FCC. 3. Jeff emerges from his room at last. 4. Paris Hilton goes to jail. 5. Sid can't find botox-free actresses to rep. 6. The surge turns another corner. 7. Bushism retrospective. 8. Mike's mom makes a break for it. 9. Paid publicity for faltering G.O.P. candidate. 10. Reruns: delightful trip to the archives. 11. Dubya runs out of scapegoats for Iraq. 12. Dead character reunion week. 13. Dead character week II. 14. History lesson. 15. Zeke discovers Flomax. 16. Celeste saves B.D. from himself. Again. 17. A terrorist follows Ray home from Iraq. 18. To cut costs, "Daily Show" runs real news. No one notices. 19. Congress breaks for summer and fall. 20. Roland achieves fairness and balance. 21. Trump's hair pens a memoir.