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Dilbert Classics by Scott Adams for July 28, 2019

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  1. Don martin 1
    Farside99  4 months ago

    Sometimes, bosses were made to be broken.

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  2. Grog   droob color
    GROG Premium Member 4 months ago

    You can’t change the laws of physics but you can kill all your customers

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  3. Mr haney
    NeedaChuckle Premium Member 4 months ago

    We made 8′×8′ cabins full of telemetry equipment. A tech was assigned the task of designing a system whereby it could survive a 25’ fall. The shocks would have to be bigger than the cabin!! The solution? They fired the tech for not being able to change the law of gravity!!

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  4. C0f0d5c7 e87a 41ba 947f f2c872d0c3a6
    DCBakerEsq  4 months ago

    I wish my work created abundant radiation. Mainly, it creates yawns.

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    Ray*C  4 months ago

    We had a new (temporary) boss who gave us a pep talk that ended with, “Work smarter, not harder.” He never told us how to do that. Result? We just ignored him.

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    STACEY MARSHALL Premium Member 4 months ago

    PHB gonna be the sacrificial beta-tester.

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    KenParnell  4 months ago

    We had an idiot “administrator” (whatever that was) decide after reading an article on chemicals that he was smarter than the chemical engineer we had and told her he was gonna change the formula on the line as an experiment and see if it saved the money he’d estimated it would. She warned him in both word and written warning that if he did what he was thinking about doing he would produce deadly Chlorine gas as a by product.He walked by several of us early one morning, and said he wasn’t going to be told what he could and couldn’t do by a damned woman, and off he went. I looked over at the guy I worked with and said, “You think this is gonna cause us a problem today or tomorrow?” He said, “It’s not going to cause us a problem at all, he was told not to do it by the Chemical Engineer at the plant and he did it anyway. The shit’s on him.”Sure enough, as we were walking out the door at the end of the day a production expediting manager came running up saying we had to stay and help fix this terrible problem as they had a chlorine leak somewhere. Then we told him he didn’t have a leak, and he needed to check on unauthorized changes to the processing system. Which freaked him out, “What idiot would do such a thing?” Just then the guy who did it walked out to go home with no knowledge of the st!t storm he started. We turned and said, “Him. See you tomorrow.”He actually never acknowledged he’d made a mistake until it was confirmed by the chief of chemistry at the home office in Belgium. And even then he kept saying, “If it makes chlorine gas as a by product, why don’t the large chemical companies make it that way?” Chief of Chemistry told him, “Because that is a stupid and expensive way to make it.”Apparently, his idea of checking was to see how the chemical companies made chlorine, when what he was doing was mentioned he took that to mean you couldn’t make chlorine at all from that method.

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  8. Rainbow brain
    Concretionist  4 months ago

    I had a manager tell me, in all seriousness, that I had to fix bugs in code but couldn’t change the code in any way. He had just heard about backward compatibility. I double checked that was what he meant, then paid exactly as much attention to his instruction as it deserved.

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  9. Thinker
    Sisyphos  4 months ago

    PHB, Beta Tester to the killer designs! If only!

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