Cow and Boy Classics by Mark Leiknes for August 05, 2007
"One job I think I'd never want would be chimpanzee wrangler for the movies." "Because inevitably the chimps would misbehave and the director would be like, 'Your chimps are wasting my film!'" "And I'd be like 'You know what? They're chimps. They're doing their best. Now, please be patient and I'll try to...'" "Try to what?! Do your job?! Your job is to get them to behave, is it? Every time your chimp decides to flub a take, that's another million dollars down the drain. But by all means take your time!!" "Please, Mr. Scorsese, stop yelling and grandly gesturing. You're only enraging the chimps. Down, boys, it's OK!!" "I will yell if I want to... AAAHHHH!! Chimps ripping my face off!!" "Stop moving, so I can tranq dart them!!" THUMP!! THUMP!! THUMP!! "On second thought, maybe the director's job would be worse." "Why was Scorsese directing a chimp movie?"