Big Nate by Lincoln Peirce for September 18, 2003
"For future reference, Nate...Zachary Taylor is not a linebacker for the Miami Dolphins." "He's not? Was he ever a dolphin?" "No! He was a president!" "A president??" "I hate to tel you this, Mr. Gaffney, but there's not such team as the 'presidents' in the national football league!" "Apparently, the criteria for becoming a substitute teacher aren't exactly demanding."