Elijah ACTUALLY went to Heaven in a Toyota. It’s true!
He was heading to West Ninevah (which is almost Heaven, according to the WN Jaycees), but overshot his exit because his breaks failed. Next thing you know, BAM, he’s seeing off-ramps paved with gold. As long as he was there, he decided to stop for a cold one at the Bosom of Abraham Bar & Grill. He had a few too many, though, and was feeling no pain when he got back on the road.
Unfortunately, the Assyria Highway Patrol pulled him over for weaving across the lanes. His license had the special Prophet of God sticker, though, so the cop was going to be lenient, but after Elijah puked on the officer’s shoes there was really no choice but to write him up. The police report included Elijah’s admission that he had a bad case of the spins, and that was how the whole “whirlwind” story got started.
(Now THAT’S a silly comment.)
April 08, 2016