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Prickly City by Scott Stantis

Carmen: Perhaps in some ways children adopted by celebrities are better off... I can't say what kind of parent Madonna is... but I do know that parenting is a lot more than paying for a couple of good nannies. Winslow: I can't wait for you to speak English so we can communicate. Carmen: You're not adopting me, Winslow.

Prickly City by Scott Stantis

Person: Stay away from that! Those goody bags for celebrities are worth tens of thousands of dollars. Winslow: Wow. I wonder if they know how much good this bounty could do for the less forunate? Hollywood elite, hear me! You have nothing to lose but your custom Gucci throw rug! After that, things get kind of fuzzy... TV announcer: Next on "When liberals attack," riot backstage at the Oscars...as Cher tries to skin a live coyote....

Prickly City by Scott Stantis

Winslow: Oprah got all Old Testament on my pelt...

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Prickly City by Scott Stantis

Man: Hey, hottie! No, wait, that's why I'm wearing this ankle tracker thingy...Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, I got somethin' to say... *#@! Bush! Barf Thud. We're Hollywood and we approved this message.

Prickly City by Scott Stantis

Carmen: For crying out loud, I know which celebrity is dating who, and I don't even care about that stuff!! They are lavished with gobs of money and all our attention! And this emboldens them to spout half-baked politics! This cult of celebrity is all so dumb. I mean besides your J-Lo shrine, Winslow... Winslow: Be grateful she's a forgiving diety.

Prickly City by Scott Stantis

Carmen: The cult of celebrity! How did we ever get to this point? What's that, Winslow? Winslow: Nothing! Carmen: Lemme see! Lemme see! Winslow: Hey! Gimme that back! Carmen: A Brad Pitt - Jennifer Aniston text-message alert? Winslow: When that one goes south, I'll snoop in and be Jen's love puppy!!!!

Prickly City by Scott Stantis

Winslow: She makes the sun to rise and books to sell. You know my novel? Carmen: the one you wrote with a sharpie and six rolls of toilet paper? Winslow: It's no.1 on Amazon.com! I've sold over 30 million copies thanks to her!!! Carmen: Oprah really is omnipotent! Winslow: And then some!!

Prickly City by Scott Stantis

Winslow: ...so Kate Hudson is splitting up with her hubby! Some say it's over that pretty boy Owen Wilson! You have no idea who I'm talking about, do you, Carmen? Carmen: Not true! (out of frame) I don't care... Winslow: And you call yourself a wonk? Ha!

Prickly City by Scott Stantis

Carmen: Come again? Winslow: I'm adopting you! A third world child is the hottest celebrity accessory! I missed disco. I'm not about to miss out on this fashion trend!! Carmen: I don't suppose it would matter to you that I'm neither third world nor an orphan? Winslow: I think that's something for the nannies to decide.

Prickly City by Scott Stantis

Carmen: Michael Moore, I don't mean to tell you your business but...you come into a project with a set agenda. That's not strictly a documentary. I mean, in your last film, you even staged a scene! Michael Moore: Oh yeah? Well, have you ever gotten a standing ovation from the Hollywood elite? Carmen: Would I want one?
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