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Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan

Poncho: Looks like all it takes is a little power failure to turn a cat person into a dog person. Carmen: Quit pretending you're not scared. I can feel you shaking. Poncho: I drank too much coffee today. Carmen: Yeah, right. You start trembling if you find out the building you're in has asbestos insulation. Poncho: You're a lousy dog person. Carmen: Well whose fault is that?!

Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan

Poncho: The thunderstorm last night really spooked me. What do you do when you're scared? Boomer: I tap into my inner dog. You should try it. Poncho's inner dog: Always rub with the grain... with the grain... Boomer: You're trembling. Poncho: Must be my medication.

Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan

Poncho: Humiliating news today, gentlemen. Boomer: You got scared by a squirrel? Poncho: Well, yes, but that's not-- Hudson: You got caught eating garbage? Boomer: You whimpered when you stepped in a puddle? Poncho: Yes, but-- Boomer: Your bark sounds like a newborn puppy? Poncho: Just let me tell you what it was!!

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Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan

Man: You won't believe it, Chazz! Your dog did it! He stopped some crooks from robbing my house! Chazz: My dog did? Man: That's right! He scared them off! He's a hero! Chazz: This dog? Poncho: Yes, me!

Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan

Poncho: Aft arf! Arf Arf! Ha! Did you see how scared that squirrel was? Ha ha ha! What a scared little wimp! Ha ha! All right! I get it! I was being a jerk!

Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan

Chazz: Poncho? What's the matter? Poncho: I scared a squirrel. Chazz: Well, attaboy, buddy! Good for you! Poncho: Yeah...except now the squirrel's mother is out there looking for me. Chazz: So...you're hiding out in here? Poncho: Uh-huh. Chazz: I don't believe this... Poncho: Me neither! Why did I have to drink so much coffee??

Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan

Poncho: Thank biscuits you're here, Stinky! I have to guard this place overnight and I need you for backup! Skunk: Unfortunately, I sprayed right when you called. The Rick Astley ringtone on my cell scared the jeepers outta me. Poncho: You only have one round in the chamber? Skunk: Well, no... I was sort of thinking about global warming on the way over here and I went off a few more times. Poncho: I've told you before, skunks should not watch the news!

Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan

Dog: Wow, that dog Poncho actually went inside someone's house to bark at a cat! And here I thought he was a weenie. Poncho: Pst! You gotta help me! There's a dog outside watching! When I bark at you, just pretend to act scared, okay? Ba- Cat: Lick. Poncho: Uh, that was sort of a "kiss of death" thing. Dog: I'm on edge of my seat.

Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan

Poncho: I am a great horned owwwwl.... you cats will feeear meee.... hey... hey, stop it! Guys, pull on the ropes! Noise: Slang! CRASH! Boomer: Okay, that scared the cats. Poncho: I bent my great horn...

Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan

Poncho: Your fight with the bullmastiff isn't until dawn. That's lots of time to learn karate! Poo Poo: Karate? Poncho: It's simple. I saw it in a movie. All you gotta do is stand on one leg like this. Poo Poo: Like this? Poncho: Yeah! Do you know karate now? Poo Poo: I don't think so. Poncho: Oh! I think you have to do it in slow motion. Poo Poo: I'm scared. I want to get down. Poncho: Tsk. Ralph Macchio must be spinning in his grave.
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