Matt Bors for April 28, 2015

Transcript:

Cool news: Jihadists are urging attacks on cartoonists in Australia and America who've drawn Muhammad. Terrorist #1: It's disrespectful to the Muslims we behead daily. They raise a good point. Satire should punch up, not down, like how a dumb cartoonist might do. Cartoonist: I drew the rioters! HATE FEAR Makes $100K 4 PULITZERS And apocalyptic madmen with guns are basically cartoon connoisseurs. Terrorist #2: Oh, the irony here is sublime. Man: I find THIS one quite problematic. BORS Sad thought: if they kill me, I'll miss all the post-massacre think pieces. Woman: It's the clash of civilizations! Man #2: Tut tut! It's about MY personal views. Wait, that sounds like heaven.