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1. 

   capndunzzl said, 6 months ago

   ….Mr. Ed used peanut butter.
2. 

   jukeofurl said, 6 months ago

   @capndunzzl

   Let’s hope so. There were sadly, darker stories.
3. 

   Simon_Jester said, 6 months ago

   Wow, I had no idea Horace was only three years old
4. 

   Ice Hole said, 6 months ago

   Swallow it, to hide the evidence..
   
   
5. 

   GymShoe said, 6 months ago

   Assuming it’s pink bubble gum…. can’t wait to see what comes next…. ! ! !
6. 

   SherlockWatson said, 6 months ago

   Today’s background music: “Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word” by Elton John.
7. 

   Samuli Lintula said, 6 months ago

   @SherlockWatson

   “Oh yeah, Elton? Well what about ‘otorhinolaryngologist’?”
8. 

   6turtle9 said, 6 months ago

   @Samuli Lintula

   Ha!
9. 

   6turtle9 said, 6 months ago

   Dearest creature in creation,
   Study English pronunciation.
   I will teach you in my verse
   Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
   I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
   Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
   Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
   So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
   Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
   Dies and diet, lord and word,
   Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
   (Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
   Now I surely will not plague you
   With such words as plaque and ague.
   But be careful how you speak:
   Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
   Cloven, oven, how and low,
   Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
   Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
   Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
   Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
   Exiles, similes, and reviles;
   Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
   Solar, mica, war and far;
   One, anemone, Balmoral,
   Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
   Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
   Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
   Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
   Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
   Blood and flood are not like food,
   Nor is mould like should and would.
   Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
   Toward, to forward, to reward.
   And your pronunciation’s OK
   When you correctly say croquet,
   Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
   Friend and fiend, alive and live.
   Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
   And enamour rhyme with hammer.
   River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
   Doll and roll and some and home.
   Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
   Neither does devour with clangour.
   Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
   Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
   Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
   And then singer, ginger, linger,
   Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
   Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
   Query does not rhyme with very,
   Nor does fury sound like bury.
   Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
   Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
   Though the differences seem little,
   We say actual but victual.
   Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
   Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
   Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
   Dull, bull, and George ate late.
   Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
   Science, conscience, scientific.
   Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
   Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
   We say hallowed, but allowed,
   People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
   Mark the differences, moreover,
   Between mover, cover, clover;
   Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
   Chalice, but police and lice;
   Camel, constable, unstable,
   Principle, disciple, label.
   Petal, panel, and canal,
   Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
   Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
   Senator, spectator, mayor.
   Tour, but our and succour, four.
   Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
   Sea, idea, Korea, area,
   Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
   Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
   Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
   Compare alien with Italian,
   Dandelion and battalion.
   Sally with ally, yea, ye,
   Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
   Say aver, but ever, fever,
   Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
   Heron, granary, canary.
   Crevice and device and aerie.
   Face, but preface, not efface.
   Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
   Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
   Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
   Ear, but earn and wear and tear
   Do not rhyme with here but ere.
   Seven is right, but so is even,
   Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
   Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
   Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
   Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
   Is a paling stout and spikey?
   Won’t it make you lose your wits,
   Writing groats and saying grits?
   It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
   Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
   Islington and Isle of Wight,
   Housewife, verdict and indict.
   Finally, which rhymes with enough,
   Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
   Hiccough has the sound of cup.
   My advice is to give up!!!

   - B. Shaw
10. 

    Stephen Gilberg said, 6 months ago

    @Simon_Jester

    How do you figure?
    And how does he say what he says so clearly all the same?
11. 

    SherlockWatson said, 6 months ago

    @6turtle9

    You don’t take decaf, do you?
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