Calvin and Hobbes

By Bill Watterson
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Hobbes: You got something in the mail. It looks like a Valentine card. Calvin: Huh? Hobbes: Open it up. Calvin: It is a valentine! Who would send me a valentine? Hobbes: Read it! Read it! Calvin: "Roses are red, violets are blue, tu-lips are what we'll be kissing, woo hoo! Love, XXOO Susie." Hobbes: Ho ho! Muchas smoochies for el conkisstador! Calvin: AAAUGGHH! This can't be happening! It's all a nightmare! Some horrible hallucination! Hobbes: Susie loves Calvin! Susie loves Calvin! Calvin: I've got to pull myself together! What can I do? My natural studliness has overwhelmed Susie's fragile grip on reality! Hobbes: Big, sloppy smackers! Smmmmrrppp! Hey, there's Susie now! She's coming this way! Calvin: Oh no! Quick! A slush ball! I need a slush ball! Susie: Hi Cal -- Oomp!! Calvin: That's what I think of your mushy Valentine card! Susie: I didn't send you a Valentine card, you smelly, snot-nosed troll! Why on earth would I send a Valentine to you?? Calvin: You didn't? But...but... Susie: I'm telling! Calvin: ...Then who...? Hobbes: Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match... Calvin: You!! You wrote that card! You tricked me! Hobbes: Wheeeee! Love makes the world go round! Calvin: You're gonna see stars go round, I promise!

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